The Developmental & Fruitional Healing Paths
In “Already Free”, Bruce Tift outlines the difference between what he calls the “developmental” and “fruitional” healing path. As Tift explains, the developmental healing path is well represented by the Western representation of neuroses and a return to psychological wholeness. The fruitional path more closely resembles the teachings of Eastern philosophy, spirituality and religion, teachings that in essence boil down to one premise: the individual is not flawed in any way, nor in need of any repair. The individual is in fact an illusion, a costume worn by an indivisible self which is incapable of being other than whole and perfect. The surest and most expedient path towards joy and freedom, and away from suffering, does not lie in understanding and altering one’s own psychological make-up and behavioral tendencies, but instead, learning to recognize that you are presently identifying with a false persona, and that deep down, what you really are - is already free.
Who has developed this flair, you may ask? The character - Wesley, the persona, the being, the Self, Buddha Consciousness, Brahma?? Woah! This isn’t a post about accurately defining the essence of one’s true identity, at least not yet. First, we’ll explore the merits of the safer, less exciting, and undeniably useful, developmental model.
First, let’s consider the perspectives of developmental theorists. As described by Romain Rolland in a letter to Freud, the human baby is born into the world with the experience of “oceanic consciousness,” that is, the sensation that one is infinite and eternal. Freud adopted this conception, and said that this is the primitive ego, which then proceeds to identify as something finite, and something susceptible to getting stuck in some phase of its development, and thus living a repressed and unfulfilled life. Erickson and Freeman posit similar developmental models, but one’s which vary significantly from Freud’s conception in terms of what defines a developmental phase, what the goal of each phase is, the duration of each phase, and what the consequences of failing to thrive in each phase entail.
Tift argues that in developmental models, a human will encounter a situation which elicits an intense feeling, as well as a sense that, “if I feel this, I will die.” Humans adapt in a brilliant way - by repressing and pushing away certain parts of themselves, and parts of their experience. This adaptation is rewarded by a muting of the intensity of the threatening feeling, and also a muting of the general aliveness of the individual. In addition, this adaptation, cutting off a part of ourselves or our feeling, also results in feeling more connected and safe in our relations to our primary caregivers, other big, scary adults, and our peers.
Many Western psychotherapy models are based on the idea that as adults, we can revisit experiences from the past where we cut off a part of ourselves, acknowledge that this adaptation was necessary then, but perhaps not now, and set about re-integrating that part, and then experiencing a renewed sense of aliveness, choice, safety, happiness, curiosity. All the good things.
The fruitional path, as I have said before, starts with a primary assumption - you are already free. Alan Watts tells a story of a man who approached a Zen master and asked for help in pacifying his mind. The Zen master told him, “show me this mind of yours and I shall pacify it.” The man thought briefly, then said, “I can’t seem to find my mind at present.” “There!” exclaimed the master, “I have pacified it.”
The fruitional path asks the practitioner to persistently notice what is right in front of them. Douglas Harding implores you to look for your own head. Eckhart Tolle asks you to notice that you are only aware of your conscious experience at this moment -everything else is thought, which is just a story, a representation, laid overtop of reality. A representation that is very likely to be false or misconstrued (Byron Katie’s Work will help anyone discover this quickly). Your suffering is overwhelmingly caused by your insistence that there is something wrong with you or your existence at this very moment, and if you simply notice what there is to be noticed, and challenge what you think you know to be true, you can be delivered from this painful delusion.
I first caught a whiff of the fruitional path through the works of Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, and Jed Mckenna during my 21st and 22nd year. At this time, I was beginning to approach a pit of despair. I was pushed/pulled towards this pit by my realization that I will die, and that I can’t truly articulate a meaning of life. At that time, I was a medical student, and I was gearing up for 80 hour workweeks in grueling conditions, and this noble ambition was bolstered by the thoughts that:
Being a doctor/surgeon is sexy, thus I AM sexy
I am going to save people’s lives. Isn’t that so cool of me? Not only will this vocation fill me with with warm fuzzies, I will also be a Righteous Individual
These two important thoughts were all but negated as honest philosophical thought began to take root in me. I began to redouble my efforts to stay out of the pit, and convince myself that everything was going just fine. I couldn’t really get back into the swing of my normal existence though, and eventually, I failed a class that I couldn't often bring myself to study for, and dropped out of med school - dropped out of my entire life. I was immediately attacked by a feeling of disorientation, terror, and despair that I hadn’t known since childhood.
I proceeded to try really hard to convince myself that all is One, and I am that One. I made affirmations to myself that I am The Universe, that I am already free. I denied my fearful thinking as delusion, even denied my desire for human contact, denied my need to be seen and held by another, and imagined that these desires were rooted in fearful ego, and that the spiritual warrior which I had become must walk alone. And by walk alone, I mean dissociate often, stay constantly distracted by video games, and indulge often in nicotine and alcohol, while also watching thousands of hours of spiritual videos on youtube, reading lots of spiritual books, avoiding meditation because it feels awful, and occasionally summoning the courage for a long and thoughtful walk, and even more rarely, summoning the courage for a temporarily, ego-shattering psychedelic trip.
After three years of being on the “spiritual path,” I came to the embarrassing, shameful-feeling conclusion that I had failed to approach anything like enlightenment since I first set my sights on it. What’s worse, I felt as bad or worse than when I had started. In a moment of courage and humility, I sought the services of a local psychotherapist, with the goal not being enlightenment, but feeling better. Gah! How I feared that he would not understand my spiritual inclinations and simply try to “fix” me, and that my work with him would take me further from realizing the truth of reality, and getting that grand and golden prize of enlightenment - but that fear was outweighed by my sincere desire to prioritize, at least for the moment, feeling ok over becoming enlightened.
In those sessions with my therapist, we explored the possibility that my current behavioral/thought patterns were contributing to my depression and anxiety. To name a few: my isolationism, my harsh judgements of others, my lack of physical activity and sunlight. My therapist also validated that much of what life had dealt me, especially in childhood, “was pretty fuckin’ unlucky.” With his reflections, I began to grant myself a kind of self-compassion, forgiveness, and grace, which I never had before. I’ll conclude by saying that my work with this therapist, and one other, whose practices were informed in part by a developmental model of healing, effectively delivered me to an improved sense of well-being. Perhaps being in touch with an authentic mystic/sage/coach/guru could have helped deliver me as well, but in my case, it was a couple of psychotherapists. This improved sense of well-being (and I’m talking, moving from a 1 to a 4 on a 0-10 happiness scale), became the ground from which I could form a less desperate, less painful, and more authentic relationship with life, and even my quest for enlightenment, whatever the hell that is.
